Jeff McGrath's Blog

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2010-04-15T16:38:00.001-07:00

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Deaths in Iraq

2009-08-18T08:20:00.001-07:00

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week,
which I quote: "If you consider that there has been an average of
160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22
months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate
of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington , DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for
the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely
to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest
gun control laws in the US , than you are in Iraq .

Conclusion: The US should pull out of Washington.

Unverified and lacks citation.

Thought this was a good email and something to think about. Very interesting comparison of statistics.

Laugh for the day

2009-07-10T13:58:00.001-07:00

Laugh for the Day

You are on a crowded bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.
You let go about 5 strong and loud ones back to back.
After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember...

You've been listening to your iPod.

Donations

2009-06-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago .

Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold Up?'

'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton,Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

They are asking for a $10 Million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?'

'About a gallon.'

Who really loves you the most?

2009-06-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

This really works...! If you don't believe it, just try this simple experiment.

Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car.
Wait 1 hour.
Open the trunk.

Who's more excited to see you?

In more than 2000 years

2009-06-09T13:29:00.002-07:00

What have we learned in 2,064 years?

"The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt.

People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." - Cicero, 55 BC

Evidently nothing

originally sent to me via email written by an unknown author

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was later shown this link, which kind of diffused the fun out the email I posted above, but oh well.

http://message.snopes.com/showpost.php?p=570302&postcount=6

Apparently it is a false quote :-(

The Spoon

2009-03-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Dave's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

- Original Author of Email is Unknown

School in 1957 vs. School in 2007

2009-03-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, the SWAT Team is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both a re expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra provincial funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time , grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. American Civil Liberties Union files class action lawsuit against the school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover July 4th firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - The ATF and the SWAT Team are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. DCFS investigates parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1957 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Original Email Author is Unknown

Replacing the Energy Solutions Arena

2009-03-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

My friend forwarded me a music video on Youtube called "The Postal Service - Such Great Heights" because he really liked the song.

Here is the Youtube Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMOkfI7wCrI

I was watching, and enjoying the music when all of a sudden, I noticed that they zoomed right into Utah from a satellite image. I picked it up because I briefly recognized the Great Salt Lake at 3 minutes and 20 seconds.

I thought it was clever how they took a city block and turned it into a computer chip. That is when curiosity struck and I wanted to figure out which block they chopped out. Looking at the roads, railroad tracks and other land marks, I was able to pinpoint the exact block that they replaced with a computer chip. It is where the Energy Solutions Arena resides!

Look closely at the video at 3 minutes and 27 seconds, and then compare to Google Maps: http://maps.google.com/?ie=UTF8&ll=40.768045,-111.900237&spn=0.007752,0.019226&t=h&z=16

Sweet.

Changed my Twitter Screen Name

2009-02-23T18:01:00.000-08:00

I used to be @slc_jm on twitter.
I am now @youtah on twitter.

Why you ask?

Looking at the "jm" part of @slc_jm, everyone kept thinking my name was Jim. My name is Jeff McGrath, not Jim. Although, I must say, this didn't really bug me as much.
I couldn't change it to @JeffM or @Jeff, both were too common and already taken.
@Youtah is more original while still letting people know that I live in Utah (You-Tah).
Typing @SLC_JM on a cellphone is much more difficult on the cheaper cell phones just because of the _.
Last big reason, @Youtah matches my website, Youtah.com

Why I love Monster Trucks

2009-02-21T20:04:00.000-08:00

Here come some absolutely excellent videos. Make sure you move any open beverages without a lid away from where you are sitting. It is likely that you will jump up in excitement and accidentally knock them over if you do not.

It took my wife approximately 90 minutes to calm me down after watching these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LIifYLOcz0 1 min 20 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uY8oHRCIh0 0 min 58 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQieroYJj7c 0 min 44 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbd8lL1bG-A 0 min 55 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPuZVrmyn6Y 1 min 52 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSHcLUU_43c 1 min 13 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i4rU-UCgSw 0 min 27 sec

You know, watching the Monster Trucks at the (formerly called Delta Center) Energy Solutions Arena really sucks. Reason being? By the time the trucks rev up their engine to a quarter of their potential power, they have to hit their brakes because the arena is so small! However, I must say that watching the kids faces is worth it. They just love seeing the trucks!

Enjoy the vids!

A Womans Poem

2009-02-18T09:32:00.001-08:00

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart, and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
Huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
The End

Economical Numbers

2009-02-12T20:22:00.000-08:00

This has to be one of my favorite quotes:

"There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers."

Richard Feynman

Disorder in the American courts

2009-02-12T16:05:00.001-08:00

This was an email I received earlier this week. I found it quite hilarious. True or not? I don't care! Original True Author - Unknown.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was gettin' laid.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
__________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
__________________________________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Red lights during a long exposure

2009-02-11T13:30:00.000-08:00

Question:

When I take pictures at night (usually an exposure of >1 second) the red gets washed out and in extreme cases changes color and looks horrible. I've noticed that it doesn't matter what white balance I have or if I under/over expose the picture.

Has anyone else noticed this?
Is this a Nikon D80 issue only?
Is there a technical term for this?
Is there something I am doing wrong?
Is this correctable (besides Photoshop)?

The example below is a cropped segment from a picture I took at night of a stoplight.

The original picture:

Fire Rescue Safety Instructions

2009-02-02T13:56:00.001-08:00

Please review the Fire Rescue Safety Instructions Diagram below in case you ever need to rescue an unconscious person from a burning building.

Mozy T-Shirt

2009-01-29T23:30:00.001-08:00

Mozy.com's "Back the F:\ Up!", originally uploaded by slc_jm.

I am wearing Mozy.com's "Back the F:\ Up!" Tee-Shirt.

I got this tee-shirt completely free from Mozy.com. See backthefup.net for more details on how you can get a shirt too.

Cactus and Tropicals Photowalk

2009-01-27T22:03:00.001-08:00

20090124-DSC_3578, originally uploaded by slc_jm.

I am part of a Flickr group called "Photowalking Utah" and our latest outting was to a store called "Cactus and Tropicals" in Draper Utah. It was a really awesome place.

There was a good turn out and quite a few people still there by the time I arrived. It was fun to see everyone and even more fun to see what other people come up with. It amazes at how different everyone's photos are every time, even if there are 80+ people shooting the same thing.

I also have to give props to the Store too. They were very nice to let us roam around and take pictures of everything in their place.

I was playing with my 30mm Sigma f/1.4 lens when I took this picture of the hanging baskets. Even though I was pretty far away, it still blows me away at the depth of field and how blurry everything is in the background. Awesome!

20090124-DSC_3513, originally uploaded by slc_jm.

Gynochanic

2009-01-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, Saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career!

Original Author - Unknown

The fog that cleared the valley.

2009-01-25T10:00:00.001-08:00

20090123-DSC_3325, originally uploaded by slc_jm.

This picture is of fog after a light rainstorm that helped clear the Salt Lake valley from really thick unhealthy smog. The smog got so bad, that that when I went to the Doctors with a cough, he said it was Bronchitis caused by the Smog itself. It was really horrible and everyone with sinus or lung problems were getting sick.

When I took this picture, I was in a building that overlooks the valley from the East Bench and was zoomed in at 200mm using my Nikkor 18-200VR lens. This allowed me to capture the edge of the fog line in the trees.

While this picture lacks color, I still consider it one of my favorite shots. The only way I can describe this picture is calm and serene.

LDS Draper Temple

2009-01-14T23:51:00.001-08:00

20090114-DSC_2436, originally uploaded by slc_jm.

I went to go check out the new LDS Church's Draper Utah Temple. There were several street closures so I parked and walked. I am not sure if I was supposed to be near it, but hey, I was on public sidewalks the whole time.

The place looked really busy and was bustling with movement. You can tell that they were getting ready for the open house. There were semi trucks parked and being unloaded, tents setup and people all over.

Anyway, I stood back so I wouldn't interrupt anything or anyone and took shots with my 18-200VR Nikkor lens.

It was a little difficult because the temple is very very bright and everything else is very dark, so it's hard to find a medium blend that works well. I decided to expose for the highlights and bring surprises out of the dark in Adobe Lightroom instead. After all, it was the temple I went to take pictures of.

You may also be asking, why so many shots at such slanted angles? Good Question. There were many cars coming in and out, semi trucks, large white temporary tents, people, houses and street lamps in the way at the bottom, I was trying to figure out ways to capture as much of the temple as possible while cutting the ugly stuff out. When I fill the picture with the temple, there is more light let in, which gives me a faster shutter speed, which means a lower ISO, which means less blur, resulting in a higher quality image and more detail. In most of the images, you may notice that I darkened the bottom, so your eyes naturally focus on the subject and not the small stuff at the bottom.

You can see more of the
temple pictures here.

Maybe I'll also go back when I have more time, its not so crowded and freezing.

Noise Canceling Head Phones

2009-01-14T14:18:00.000-08:00

I am looking at buying noise canceling headphones for work.

I am wanting them to be of good quality. (not top of the line, can't afford those).
I am hoping around the $80 to $150 range.
I also wear glasses and some headphones hurt when they push on the glasses temple area.
I'd be wearing these for +10 hours a day 5/days a week.

I currently have the Sony MDR-V150 headphones and I have been very pleased with their shape, size and comfort. Same physical characteristics would be awesome.

I was thinking of getting the Philips SHN9500 noise canceling headphones but I am not sure about the shape.

Priority:
#1 Comfort (Glasses and very long extended wear)
#2 Noise Cancellation
#3 Quality of Sound

Any suggestions?

Sigma 30mm f/1.4 Review

2009-01-13T11:40:00.001-08:00

It is slower than I thought. I've missed shots that my 18-200VR would have auto focused and captured because of its lack of speed. The auto focus is a lot noisier than I expected too. Makes a lot of clicking noises during auto focus.

Has difficulty focusing at f/1.4 on auto focus while set to a single focal point with manual aperture and priority. [Using the Nikon D80] Takes great portraits and zero chromatic aberration. The 30mm is very nice to have instead of the 50mm for indoor shooting. Wide lens and looks awesome. It has a heavy, solid feel when you hold it. The lens uses a 62mm filter, which is easy to find. Insanely awesome Depth of Field and beautiful star effect at high aperture on lights.

For what I paid, I expected a little bit more from it, but I am still enjoying it and don't regret the purchase. I also like the lens more than the Fifty Nifty (50mm f/1.8 Nikkor) I sold to pay for this lens.

Self Portrait

2009-01-13T08:49:00.001-08:00

Self Portrait, originally uploaded by slc_jm.

Okay, I gave in. Too many people requested the ole' Self Portrait in a mirror with your camera. I took this the day before I fell very ill with the 24 hour flu too.

In the picture: Nikon D80, Battery Pack Grip, 2 Lithium Ion Batteries, 1/128th strength flash, Sigma 30mm f/1.4 Lens, Vignetting added in Adobe Lightroom, wearing my "Procrastinators Unite ... Tomorrow" tee-shirt.

How Photowalking Utah Saved the Day

2009-01-05T09:15:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for all the photographers in the Photowalking Utah Flickr group. They have been very generous, helpful and kind.

It's the day of my brothers wedding.

We are standing in the temples front doors when the security guard approaches us and hands us a little yellow slip of paper and walks away. The paper said "Your photographer was in a serious car accident and was being sent to the hospital in an ambulance due to a concussion. He will not make it to the temple". Well crap!

This is when I sent a text message to Twitter stating the situation. I got a couple of replies, the first of which was Dave Terry. He said he could come fill in at the reception if needed. What a relief and what a guy! (Not only that but his pictures rock)

I know NOTHING about wedding photography.

My brother-in-law (Phill Monson) and I (Jeff McGrath aka SLC_JM) had our cameras. Phill grabbed his Canon Rebel XTI & I grabbed my Nikon D80 and went to work.

Luckily I had borrowed a SB600 speed light from photogirl66 that I could also use as a fill light. Luck would also have it that dilvie (Eric Hamiliton) had also taught me how to use the SB600 in previous events I had shot with him.

Towards the end, we got another yellow slip of paper from security saying that the photographer had been released and that we needed to call him. So my brother-in-law gave him a ring on the tele and was told that he was still planning or hoping to make it to the reception.

I called Dave Terry back and informed him of the situation and he came up with a game plan, to still show up, setup and be there just incase and that if or when the other photographer showed up, he'd pack up and leave.

We were going to do family portraits at 5:00 and everything and everyone was running late. Dave was there not only on time, but early (he beat me there). He whips out all his nice equiptment and sets everything up.

It's now almost 6pm and we are finally starting to get pictures taken, guests are to arrive at 6:30 and still no word at all from the photographer. I'm thinking to myself "Thank heavens Dave is here" when the other photographer walked in late.

Poor guy was loaded on pain meds and super loopy. We asked him if he was okay, and that if he needed to go home, we had a back up photographer, but he insisted he was fine and could do the shoot (what a trooper). So Dave packed up and headed off.

Once again, I can't say it enough, thanks again for your willingness and help Dave!

I did feel bad, because Dave had his Canon 5D MarkII and another body with really nice lenses, all this gear, off camera flashes with umbrellas and the other photographer walked in with the D70 and a Speedlight SB600... nothing more. I am curious as to how he felt walking into that situation. [5D Mark II vs. D70]

He shot the job, in pain, a little on the loopy side, but hung in there like a champ.

I'm thankful for all the helpful and courteous photographers I've met.

Thanks again to:

Dave Terry http://www.dterryphotography.com & his flickr account
Robyn P (photogirl66) http://flickr.com/photos/photogirl66/
Eric H (dilvie) http://www.dilvie.com
and many other photowalkers who've helped me in the past.

Okay Okay Okay...

Here are the pictures
from the Temple

Punctuation Matters

2008-12-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

Why Punctuation Matters

"Woman, without her man, is nothing."
"Woman! Without her, man is nothing!"

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

2008-12-29T16:17:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

Christmas has been cancelled

2008-12-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

Apparently you told him that you were GOOD this year.

He died laughing.

Phonetic Reversal Diabetes Ad

2008-12-27T12:49:00.001-08:00

The Utah Department of Health created a commercial using a technique called Phonetic Reversal. They recorded the guy, in English, repeating his line but completely in reverse. When you play it backwards, you can then understand what he is saying.

Here are the two videos:
Original Raw Footage (Phonetically Reversed)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ3bGeJoh5A

Reversed (Understandable)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C86QmRVk_7k

This first time I saw this on TV, I was in complete awe and totally amazed while most people seemed to not even have realized what was going on.

Desert VS Dessert

2008-12-27T10:52:00.001-08:00

Here's the situation. You type up an invitation to your guests and get them printed. As you are stuffing the envelopes you notice it says: "Desert will be served around 8:30pm." Sorry, spell check didn't catch the error because desert was spelled correctly.

Other times, you just can't quite remember if it has one or two s's. How do you remember which is which?

Desert:
If you were stranded in a hot, dry desert, would you rather spend several or fewer days? If you're normal, you would have answered fewer. So remember that desert has fewer s's.

Dessert:
When it comes time for dessert, say ice cream, would you rather have one or two scoops? Most people would answer two. So for dessert, you will use two (more) s's.

Recap:
Eat MORE Dessert
LESS time in the Desert

Selling two of my babies (lenses)

2008-12-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

Not literally a baby as in a child, but figuratively.

I bought a new Sigma 30mm f/1.4 lens, an extra battery and a battery pack/grip for my Nikon D80. I am having to sell these because I need the cash to cover the remaining costs for the purchases above.

Nikkor AF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 G II ED
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=5169556
Here is Ken Rockwells Review of The 18-55mm Lens

Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 AF D (aka Nifty Fifty or Fantastic Plastic)
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=5162499
Here is Ken Rockwells Review of The 50mm Lens

If you know anyone that would be interested, please forward them this link.
Thanks a ton!

Christmas Morning

2008-12-25T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been a rather interesting Christmas. I am not complaining... just sharing how mine went.

We had a great time visiting family all day Christmas Eve. We got to see lots of Grandparents and Great Grandparents, open presents, give presents and share our love with our family.

We have a tradition with my wifes family that usually runs late... and it did. Normally my 2 year old is in bed AND asleep by 8:00pm. We got home by 10:00pm and needless to say he wasn't tired at all. My little guy didn't actually fall asleep until about 01:00am. He wasn't feeling well. I had to call Santa and tell him to come around 3:00am and not at Midnight.

<Door Creaking> I wake up and here comes the little guy out of his room. Recharged and ready to open presents at 7:00am. We open presents and he loved them. My wife and I both opened our presents and things were going great.

What did I get you ask? I got an extra battery for my digital camera (dead and won't even re-charge), a refurbished 2GB mp3 player (broken and shuts off any time I press the next, play, pause or up button), a license for Adobe Lightroom 2.0 (reactivated my expired trial version ... back up and running, ah!), an ankle holster for my 9mm handgun (totally rocks and very comfortable), and that's about it.

Now if I could only get my laptop to stop being retarded and stay charged when plugged into the powercord, I could use Lightroom. I have an old (6 years +) HP pavilion ZV5000 laptop. I've replaced the mother board TWICE and the solder on the mother board keeps breaking. Thus when you plug it in... you get no power... can't charge battery... can't run off the AC from the wall... headaches. Try googling "ZV5000 Power" and see what you get.

So far this afternoon, my little guy fell asleep in the car at 9am and now will not take a nap.

*Guh!*

Thanks to all those who sent me an email in 2008

2008-12-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

This was a rather clever email I received. Original author - unknown. (And yes, I know Target is not a French Company. See these links: one, two and three)

Thanks

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

Or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only
imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I won't touch margarine, as it is just one molecule away from being plastic.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, nor do I drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I can no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

Neither will I go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise..

I won't shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the
brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 14,000 people in the next 14 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 1,000 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way.....A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Bailouts Explained using Cartoons

2008-12-10T09:46:00.001-08:00

Click each thumbnail to see the larger image.